Valley of Neutrality

Seems to be a valley of neutrality to travel through on the destination to surrender.  No highs, no lows…times when you consider sticking a fork in your eye to feel alive then you realize THAT too, is just a silly need to feel, cast on us by something outside ourselves.
What do you do to FEEL?  There’s a lot of choices, most of them great provided it’s in moderation.   Oh moderation…that’s no fun!  But really, what do you to do to I really come alive and sense a greater purpose or way in the world?

We as men are so numbed out to our greatness and convinced that the acquisition game will keep us content.  At 42, I’m rebelling.  I reject it wholeheartedly and find myself in this land of neutrality.  That odd space where things don’t totally suck, but they’re not great either.  Arguably, I don’t have clarity in what great even looks like…so in the transition, I’m rebelling.  I refuse to buy just about anything that doesn’t land squarely in the NEED bucket.

I rejected expensive rent in a sexy downtown condo.

I rejected a fancy car.

I gave away all my suits.

I sold or gave away almost everything.

For me at least, radical shift was needed and that’s what I did by moving into a 27′ Airstream and selling my real estate company.   For the last 6 months I’ve wandered.  Wandered in and out of the call to return to my “old life” and into surrender, where things just are and embracing a  minimalist lifestyle where one thing is clear:

I already have everything I could possibly want or need.

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