“You may have written about this already, but have you noticed a number of self- actualized, spiritual, intelligent, and beautiful women are … single?” she inquires.
“Why do you ask? I reply.
“I get asked why I'm single all the time, and it's my least favorite question. I look at a lot of my friends, and they are like me. I wonder if I'm too used to being single.. idk.. do you ever see this??”
“No darling. I'll assure you, you're NOT alone” I offer in assurance.
“Many women feel this way. I believe we're in a evolutionary shift. Let me explain.
In reading history, all changes in civilizations, tribes and societies has been led by women. Meaning … women learn faster, are more open to change, can handle pain, congregate together, will ask for help and, they lead the household in the way of rearing children and caring for the nurturing of the home. As a result, women shift faster because they're not alone and it's SAFE for them to.
These shifts create evolutionary transformations where they grow and as a result want, even demand more from life, from men, from food, from everything. Men on the other hand, well, we get left behind and are scratching our heads thinking, “wait up, I was doing my job providing and killing dragons, bears and protecting, why are you unhappy?” The woman says, if you want ME (and we do), you have to evolve.
So we turn to our bag or resources and go through tremendous pain because we're not equipped, have nobody to ask for help and don't want to appear weak to our women or fellow men. So we suffer, and we suffer alone like being tortured slowly. Welcome to the birth of addictions and compulsions! Men, sadly, are in big trouble right now. There is a powerful hero's journey in EVERY boy to become a man. Yes, every man.
I, in my own journey, have answered this call … it's one of the reasons you've probably found me. You, as an evolved woman, can sense it on every level. It's safe. It's sexy. It's intoxicating … you want more, much more, and even get angry when you don't get it.
By no means am I perfect, rather, embracing all the cracks, the brokenness and the blemishes that allow God to shine a beautiful light through what is more vulnerable, more authentic than my spit-shined shoes and whitened teeth. Gosh, how I try to look good and yet, it’s the weaknesses that provides me the strength. The great paradox!
My mission and calling is to partner with the beautiful tribe called, Women. To help them in this evolutionary transition, to spike their gifts of compassion and help them understand what is happening to men. The good news is when this cycle is complete, and it will like all cycles complete, the planet will never be the same.
It's my hope and dream and work … that we won't become gender-less with each other. Neutral. Treating all of us the same. My dream is to empower the radically elegant of the feminine and ground the strong virility of masculinity into a sexy and fun dance where we can experience and nurture the best of each other, while holding the sacredness of this evolutionary process.
Ah but then again, I'm like John Lennon when he said, “maybe I'm just a dreamer.”
Ah my dear. I've enjoyed our exchange. Each time I speak on it, I crystallize this mission inside myself just a little deeper.
Mmmm. Wow. Feeling reverent, humble. Thank you … and … don't stop being a Queen.
We WILL come for you. Don’t give up on the beauty, that is called Man.”
Gentlemen, do you read this and think ‘Ya, I'm a great guy and can't seem to find a woman that wants to share life?'
Ladies, do you think, ‘Where are the men (versus boys) that will commit and participate in life and love?'
No matter where you are in the love spectrum of this life evolution, we are all a part of the growth and at the end of the day, we want to connect.
Here are five elements to the growth cycle and ways we can nurture each other through this sociological change.
1. Seek to understand.
While at a session one day, my mentor placed a piece of paper on the ground, stood on it and said, “This is you and your viewpoint. You stand on it so hard you are closed off to all the other viewpoints in life and you're missing out.”
OUCH!! He was right. I needed to chill on my black and white thinking and seek to understand the rights, viewpoints and vantage points of others. Only then could I build bridges of love to others different then me so we can unite and build relationships, businesses, communities and the things we cherish.
2. Choose your higher state.
To not make a choice, IS a choice. We live as victims because we think we have no power so we go along, caught up in the agenda rivers of others versus plotting our course, making corrections and learning to paddle. We can always, at any given moment choose a higher way, a way that makes us more connected and fulfilled.
3. Respond versus React.
If you're like me, you gotta work things out immediately otherwise they grow, fester and explode. Ya, that's called control. Relax, most scenarios in this evolutionary process just need some good ole fashioned clarity on them. Take some time out if you need, then respond. Pluck a short and curly from the shadows of your pocket if you must, pinch your hand, step on your foot, hold your lips, whatever you gotta do to not react. Usually the first thought and following words from our mouth are the most honest, but rarely the most prudent.
4. Take a breath. Chill out!
If you look close enough, I'm like a gun with a hundred triggers. Fire. Aim. Ready. Oh, I'm always ready to go off on you! Years of complex defense systems that are ready to isolate the threat in flight, fight or freeze scenarios that are nothing more then my fear reactions. When I can stop, evaluate, take a deep breath and just…chill…out, it makes the other four things in this list a WHOLE lot easier.
Yes, I know the word is painfully diluted but hear me out. Harry, a respected member of my men's community said something I'll never forget.
“Everything we do is either love, or a cry for love.”
The simplicity of Harry's few words were classic, older man wisdom. No flair, no big language, just straight up truth. We all just want to be loved and don't know the many ways this can be shown, given and received.
We are no doubt in an evolutionary process of change. The men are loosing ground, the women are advancing through their natural ability to congregate and communicate and the distance between the sexes is in epic proportions.
Men, we must evolve and choose a higher path and…we can't do it alone. If you are a man going through the change of divorce, middle age, careers or spiritual transformation, I want to support you. We need KINGS in this life and there is much to be lived!!
Reach out to me.
I offer support and highly targeted, results-based coaching for men that have epic callings on their life and are in the mud of evolving. On the other side of emergence waits the realization of your dreams by embracing your perfectly imperfect state, assessing your talents and weaknesses, proper self-care and some accountability to sticking to your own road map for self-defined success.
Listen guys. I'm in the thick of all this too! None of us get a free ride and we need each other to make it work. Most of the time, truthfully…I get more from you then you will ever get from me.
Sending love out there on your journey, my friends.