How to Know if You Are Good at Sex

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We as guys get SO caught up in if we're “good at it”, all the right moves, was that move the hip up, then down or side to side, round and round?  Shit…how do we keep up?!  Women have a hundred “spots” that will make them go crazy and they're all totally different.  One girl wants a tickle, another a grab, another likes this, doesn't like that, dirty talk, condom choices, insertion, lubrication, did she come, did you come to soon….ARRRR!!

For guys, we're in a perilous dance of wanting great sex, to connect to our partners and everyone feel good about it…during, AND after!  (At least enough to come back and do it again together)  So guys…what's the ins and outs (pardon the pun), the rights and wrongs of sex?  Better to defer to the ladies!  This below was read to me by a group of 3 female friends while having a cocktail together.  They thought this was incredible and I learned a LOT about women's thoughts about sex.

Sex is not a goddamn performance.  Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.  It should not require confidence.  Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.  Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being.  Ripe and augmented and brimming.  Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.  You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.”  It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.”  Sex is not factual.  I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.  What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one.   Hello, here’s me.  Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow.  We got time.  We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities.  Explore each fuck.  Take our time.  We can do a different one later.  Don’t worry about making me cum.  I’m here.  Right where I want to be.  I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me.  I want you because I like you. 

So don’t put on a front.  Don’t taint this.  I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality.  It’s passion.  It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly.  Don’t compare yourself to the rest.  You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else.

If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong.  Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.  I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way. “Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed.  I’m pleased you’re there.  I feel it suits you.  Shove your technique.  Let your memory swallow it.  Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.  ~Anonymous

Wow!  I read it too and was stunned by it's rawness!

Guys, get present!  Learn how to look deeply into your woman's eyes and not look away.  To bear your soul is unbelievably difficult for us as guys…I get it!  I too was among the walking wounded, scared of letting a woman see my true nature.  For years I suffered as being considered “attractive” but a woman couldn't “feel the real me”…I just wasn't there.

It wasn't until I came radically into my own strength that true self confidence began to take root, making me very attractive to women.  They sensed it…it was primal!

Are you good at Sex?  Come to find out, it is the wrong question with even worse connotations to follow since it takes you from the beauty of the moment, the energy shifting from oneness and unity to selfish insecurity needing validation.

Ask a better question like: “Hey lover, how can I please you?” and watch your fantasies open up.


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