Gratitude is suffocating your happiness! Kind of an unpopular comment when so many of us use grateful verbiage to move ourselves to better emotional states. But what do we do with unexpressed emotions that are eroding our lives and keeping us in a legacy of toxic compulsive behaviors?
Explore the idea with me that often gratitude needs to be temporarily suspended so we have time to grieve the pain inside us that will inevitably allow us to transcend into more joyous states where true gratitude can be experienced.
There is an endless barrage of “feel good” messages (usually in the form of artsy thumbnails) on Facebook pumping through the digital air like ether. While I'm also a huge believer in controlling our thoughts and especially words, there is a time to suspend the desire of where you WANT to be and deal with the trapped emotions that are often pouring out of us.
As children, we're programmed how to act, how to feel and to be “good little boys/girls” that don't cry. The overall message we receive is, it's not okay to feel or that others won't be okay with our emotions, so we hide, wear masks and lose our identities from years of traveling down roads that are designed to keep everyone else safe and happy.
This is the biggest lie of the human spirit. In reality, we're drawn to genuine, authentic and vulnerable people that aren't afraid to put it all out there, to risk and truly be known for who they are. We admire them as brave and they empower our own truth to emerge.
In a group coaching session once, the leader looked at me intensely during a minute when I was obviously struggling to express myself and said,
“Your truth is welcome here.”
I'll never forget that moment. His words were in complete contradiction to multiple internal belief systems that I had been operating from and as a result, I was performing, giving what I thought the world wanted and robbing others from enjoying the real me in the process. My intentions were good, it was all I knew at the time.
Then in summer of 2015, too weary and exhausted from the depression, I attended six weeks of intensive reprogramming at an amazing place called, The Bridge in Kentucky. Here I was provided a safe space under the care of talented professionals to heal from decades of childhood trauma and abuse so the real “me” could finally emerge to the world. Countless hours of classes, books and personal development were all put on hold to experience trapped emotions/feelings I had been denying because they were too painful to navigate. I walked in to the Bridge with a smile on my face, my shoulders back, dressed nicely and very put together when all I wanted to do was crack open and feel the passion that felt so trapped inside my soul.
After those six weeks, I emerged from the sacred place with a heart of gratitude that I could express from a state of authenticity. Since then, there is a confidence that is building from a place deep within, a confidence that is not reliant on the ever-changing tides of outside circumstances such career, money, approval and possessions.
So I invite you to throw off your mask of conditioned responses, smiles and laughs. I invite you to suspend everything you KNOW to be good but for whatever reason doesn't feel like the right response to what's going on inside. There are many, many safe places to purge and deal with trapped emotions, pain, trauma and abuse so you too can find the solidarity of your own soul.
You'll find there are many of us walking the earth all to eager to see humanity heal and join the ranks of the emotionally evolved. We will take your calls. This page could be filled with literally hundreds of men and women that have graced my own path and helped me in my own emergence. Please join us.
Your. Truth. Is. Welcome. Here.
A special thank you to Michael Warden, the man that said these words to me:
Michael Warden is a certified master coach and communications trainer with a specialty in leading others, especially men, to their own internal truth. He's the founder of The Braveheart Intensive and can be found at http://michaelwarden.com/
A special thank you to Justin Williams, a man that coached me for years:
Justin Williams is a pastor, coach and lover of all things true. He is a warrior for wounded and a hunter for the lost soul. He is a Braveheart Intensive facilitator and can be found at http://www.justindwilliams.com/