If we're single, we pal around with our other single friends at different venues hoping to meet someone special. We ask our married friends to introduce us, we attend events, churches, parties, we volunteer, take on community projects and survive the tireless bar scene….just to make a special connection.
But what happens when we're introduced poorly, creating awkwardness that is difficult to overcome and places us further away from our goal?
Listen to what one friend told me the other day:
Robin, I had SUCH an awkward moment with this neighbor!
My 2 female friends were talking to this guy by the entrance of my building and apparently he told them to hook him up with some of there single friends…just then…I got off the elevator and they looked at me and said…”there's a great one right there”…sheesh…I mean really…wow!
They embarrassed him too…She spouted off about how every time she see him, he's with a different woman. Totally put him on the defense. All of this took place in a 3 minutes period of time…ouch
What is this…a “cattle auction”! I couldn't believe what she was telling me. Wait…ya, I CAN believe it because it's happened to me countless of times too. My ambitious married friends get overly excited about being the reason I find “true love” and there's no stopping them.
Being paraded around at someone else whim is never any fun. So how do you make an introduction that sets two people up for success?
- Gracefully (check your own motives)
- Intentionally (Think about it before you do anything)
Most people I know do NOT want me to introduce them to others randomly for romantic (dating) purposes. They feel very capable of making their own connections and asking another out.
The best I can offer them is to remain available to any request they may have of me and create moments of connections for others. An older couple I know use to have events at their home at least every week, throwing parties, gathering people to eat and spend time together. More friendships, dating and marriages were formed from that one couple than any dating website I've ever seen.
If you don't know how to introduce someone, pull them to the side and ask them. Until then, keep your introductions light, conversational with a modest compliment offered to each of them.
Mark, have you met my friend, Susan? (as they're shaking hands) Susan is an accomplished ballroom dancer and use to perform nationally. Mark, didn't you use to dance as well?
Stick to commonalities, create sparks of interest and let others go deeper as they choose.
Hey, I see you two have a lot to chat about. I'm going to go refill my drink, I'll connect later. (perhaps offering to refill their drinks too)
It's not hard, when you're intentional and graceful in the process. Your friends will thank you for being a great connector of awesome people, you'll improve your social status and become a person skilled in the art of human dynamics.